Just completed the Hong Kong drama, "Mystery in Love" this afternoon. In fact, I watched the final episode 3 times. Might catch the fourth time. Well, not because of an interesting ending it had. Ending is just like a normal fairy tale. Two people, who love each other end up together. Just that the reason that I watched so many time is because I find some meaningful theories which worth being described in my life.
Only when we experienced a death moment, then only we will appreciated what we had in life. Most of the time, we are being ignorance, never realizing how wonderful life is. Always put ourself in our own thought, thinking that what is only right for us. Never really think from other point of view. It is only after we experienced something that nearly brings us to death, that we realized this point.
Not everything in this world can be solved by an equation. Things like love, can only be properly understood if we felt it with out heart. When two person get together, there is a chemistry feeling created, which makes both of them getting attracted to each other. This is what human called the feeling of love. It can't be solved with mere equation.
If we really treasured a relationship, at the very moment we lost it, it seemed like the whole world will falls into a blink of darkness. We will feel that life has become meaningless. Some to the certain extend of ending up their life, or hurting themselve to escape from this sadness. It is only after certain time, that we were be able to stand up again, and decided to forget about all the heartbreak and continue to be strong in our life. However, no matter how strong we are, the scar due to this heartbreak will forever be there.
Is there really a second chance in life? Even after hurting someone that we loved, can we really get back together for a second chance? In this drama, it shown that we were able to do so. It is after the man actor, realizing that he truly loved the girl, and apologizing in front of a prize giving ceremony, that the girl accepted him back. However, will there really be a second change in reality. Whilst I agreed on what I wrote in the previous paragraph, I seemed to be reluctant to accept the fact of this one.
Perhaps, I had never had much experience in term of love. 1 failed relationship, and 1 failed courtship. That doesn't accumulate as vast experience. As such, I couldn't give much comment here. In addition, I had never been hurt before. Perhaps, maybe if there will come one day when I faced this situation, that I will be able to decide whether there is indeed a second chance in love. Or perhaps it is just a myth after all?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Is the Love We Had So Shallow?
Currently, I am watching a Hong Kong drama, "Mystery of Love". Quite an enjoyable movie, from my point of view. Started watching since Monday, with 5 episodes to the finale. Whilst the story line is really interesting, the love life depict in this drama is worth mentioning.
As the matter of fact, it shown that in life, there is some "class" exist in human nature. The rich people, and also the not-so-rich-people. How these 2 classes conflicted with each other. Usually, is the rich class who look down on those poor classes. As the Chinese saying, "dog eyes see people low". Due to this matter, two people, who loves each other, had to be separated because they come from different classes. Is this call love? Should not that when two people in love, they must learn to accept the other party's as a whole? Is the love that we had is so shallow?
Just recently I think a lot of the topic of love. And to understand what is love, I re-read a comic by the title "Bitter Virgin". From this comic, I get the gist of what love should be all about. Love is not merely on being together, getting marry, making love, and having children. All these are not important to me. What love really meant to me is, being able to protect the one we loved, staying by their side whenever they needed us, always wishing our loved one being happy all the time. These, I believed should make our love greater.
Besides, love should always come from a mutual feeling between two people. It should be a one way traffic. I used to get involved in a one way traffic. In the end, there is no results from this kind of relationship. As the saying goes, one hand will never make a clap. However, being involved in a failed relationship, I never really recover in term of confidence. Never really hope to search for a soul mate. Even if there is a suitable girl, I am not able to make any movement.
As the matter of fact, is it true that the love that we had is so shallow? Or the requirement being set too high to meet? Is it not that the most important thing in love is a the aforementioned above? However, human tends to have lots of needs in life, and will never be contented with what they have. As what I see, when two people in love, they always expect their other half to do something which pleases they, even though sometime, those requirement does not really gel with other. Sometimes, I wonder why people still willingly to do it? Just to make their lover happy, till the extend of sacrificing their own happiness? Is it not love is all about tolerance?
That's the reason why I said that love is so shallow. We would never really understand what love is all about.
As the matter of fact, it shown that in life, there is some "class" exist in human nature. The rich people, and also the not-so-rich-people. How these 2 classes conflicted with each other. Usually, is the rich class who look down on those poor classes. As the Chinese saying, "dog eyes see people low". Due to this matter, two people, who loves each other, had to be separated because they come from different classes. Is this call love? Should not that when two people in love, they must learn to accept the other party's as a whole? Is the love that we had is so shallow?
Just recently I think a lot of the topic of love. And to understand what is love, I re-read a comic by the title "Bitter Virgin". From this comic, I get the gist of what love should be all about. Love is not merely on being together, getting marry, making love, and having children. All these are not important to me. What love really meant to me is, being able to protect the one we loved, staying by their side whenever they needed us, always wishing our loved one being happy all the time. These, I believed should make our love greater.
Besides, love should always come from a mutual feeling between two people. It should be a one way traffic. I used to get involved in a one way traffic. In the end, there is no results from this kind of relationship. As the saying goes, one hand will never make a clap. However, being involved in a failed relationship, I never really recover in term of confidence. Never really hope to search for a soul mate. Even if there is a suitable girl, I am not able to make any movement.
As the matter of fact, is it true that the love that we had is so shallow? Or the requirement being set too high to meet? Is it not that the most important thing in love is a the aforementioned above? However, human tends to have lots of needs in life, and will never be contented with what they have. As what I see, when two people in love, they always expect their other half to do something which pleases they, even though sometime, those requirement does not really gel with other. Sometimes, I wonder why people still willingly to do it? Just to make their lover happy, till the extend of sacrificing their own happiness? Is it not love is all about tolerance?
That's the reason why I said that love is so shallow. We would never really understand what love is all about.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
I am Lying, Because I Still Can't Completely Let It Go
I had a little chat with a friend past 3 days ago. Someone who I had not contacted for quite sometimes. However, I did took effort of looking him and his girlfriend up last month when I dropped by at my hometown. And that is how we managed to get connected again through Facebook...Huh, the power of ICT.
Anyway, we had a little bit of chatting session until his line somehow got distracted. Well, what can we say about our network here. Promise that is a first class when we signed up, but eventually received a third class service...haiz... So the conversation happened to discuss about our life, the people surrounded us, so on and so for until he suddenly asked me, "Do you still contact with MS L?". I was taken aback by this question. Then he told me that he saw her last month with her boyfriend. And that is where our conversation get distracted.
After such conversation, I think back on this topic of discussion. As the matter of fact, I really did not wish to bring this matter up. I lied to myself that I do not want to get caught in the past, as I had decided long ago that I had to let this feeling go. But then, do I really let go of everything? I guessed that I would be lying if I said yes. I am not sure of myself, as after I decide to let go of her, I never really meet her again. As such, I never really know whether the feeling is still there, or I am just hiding it some where deep in my heart.
Unlike my first relationship, when I started to break up, it took me quite sometimes to get over with it. At that time, I was like what I am feeling right now. It was until I met up with her that I can decide that yes, I had completely let go. So, perhaps if I had the opportunity to see her again, then I can reaffirmed my own feeling of whether I had completely let go of it, or I am still hoping for something which is beyond my reach.
It was only until then that I can proceed with my own life. Till date, I always told my friend that getting into a relationship is not my priority, and it is not important to me. I guessed that another lie I created to cover my own weakness. In fact, the reason I refused to look for a soul mate is because I can't take another broken heart again. People always told me, should you be involved in a relationship, you must must have to ability to carry it, and have the courage to let it go. I think I am lack of it. Which make me a person not suitable to get involved in a relationship.
Anyway, we had a little bit of chatting session until his line somehow got distracted. Well, what can we say about our network here. Promise that is a first class when we signed up, but eventually received a third class service...haiz... So the conversation happened to discuss about our life, the people surrounded us, so on and so for until he suddenly asked me, "Do you still contact with MS L?". I was taken aback by this question. Then he told me that he saw her last month with her boyfriend. And that is where our conversation get distracted.
After such conversation, I think back on this topic of discussion. As the matter of fact, I really did not wish to bring this matter up. I lied to myself that I do not want to get caught in the past, as I had decided long ago that I had to let this feeling go. But then, do I really let go of everything? I guessed that I would be lying if I said yes. I am not sure of myself, as after I decide to let go of her, I never really meet her again. As such, I never really know whether the feeling is still there, or I am just hiding it some where deep in my heart.
Unlike my first relationship, when I started to break up, it took me quite sometimes to get over with it. At that time, I was like what I am feeling right now. It was until I met up with her that I can decide that yes, I had completely let go. So, perhaps if I had the opportunity to see her again, then I can reaffirmed my own feeling of whether I had completely let go of it, or I am still hoping for something which is beyond my reach.
It was only until then that I can proceed with my own life. Till date, I always told my friend that getting into a relationship is not my priority, and it is not important to me. I guessed that another lie I created to cover my own weakness. In fact, the reason I refused to look for a soul mate is because I can't take another broken heart again. People always told me, should you be involved in a relationship, you must must have to ability to carry it, and have the courage to let it go. I think I am lack of it. Which make me a person not suitable to get involved in a relationship.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Best Way to Test Our Patience.....Get Yourself Caught in a Jam
Most of my friends said that I had a very good level of patience. Well, those were the days. If I were to compare now and then, I believed that the me now is more easy to get pissed off whenever something get into my way.
Just a while ago, while I was on my way back to home from office, I was caught in a jam. A self created jam by my beloved people, I must say. So happened that is a school dismissal hour, and plus the fact that is an after office hour. I had to pass through 2 school on my way back.
Really lost my cool when I get stuck in the congestion. Sometimes, I really can't believe that in this country, where people always complaining about insufficient money to spend, will have so many cars on the road. And to add salt to the wound, the prices of a car does not come cheap in this country. As such, how the hell we had to experience so many cars on the road?
Then, seeing how parents fetching their children from school also makes me ponder, how lucky these children are these day. Still remember my time of study. I started to walk to school when I was in primary school, then started to take public transport by my own when I was in secondary school and high school, with cycling as an option. I mean, those days, we really needs to be on our own, as my mum needs to work. So, that's where the responsibility started to nurture from young.
But then, I really can't compare the situation here and in my time. As these days, the society has turn into such a unsafe society that people tends to be extra caution. Sometimes I wonder whether all human civilization will ends up in such manner. Then, the next will be the end of the word. So, can blame much on those parents who wish to fetch their children personally after school. However, please la, make sure all of you adhere to the traffic law. Do not simply park your car on the roadside. This will ultimately causes the congestion.
But then, as I said in my posting yesterday, in here everything will only be ILLEGAL if being noticed the authority. Haiz.....
Just a while ago, while I was on my way back to home from office, I was caught in a jam. A self created jam by my beloved people, I must say. So happened that is a school dismissal hour, and plus the fact that is an after office hour. I had to pass through 2 school on my way back.
Really lost my cool when I get stuck in the congestion. Sometimes, I really can't believe that in this country, where people always complaining about insufficient money to spend, will have so many cars on the road. And to add salt to the wound, the prices of a car does not come cheap in this country. As such, how the hell we had to experience so many cars on the road?
Then, seeing how parents fetching their children from school also makes me ponder, how lucky these children are these day. Still remember my time of study. I started to walk to school when I was in primary school, then started to take public transport by my own when I was in secondary school and high school, with cycling as an option. I mean, those days, we really needs to be on our own, as my mum needs to work. So, that's where the responsibility started to nurture from young.
But then, I really can't compare the situation here and in my time. As these days, the society has turn into such a unsafe society that people tends to be extra caution. Sometimes I wonder whether all human civilization will ends up in such manner. Then, the next will be the end of the word. So, can blame much on those parents who wish to fetch their children personally after school. However, please la, make sure all of you adhere to the traffic law. Do not simply park your car on the roadside. This will ultimately causes the congestion.
But then, as I said in my posting yesterday, in here everything will only be ILLEGAL if being noticed the authority. Haiz.....
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
People Says That After Bad Luck, the Good Luck Will Come...Really?
I can't find any word, except for BAD LUCK to describe what happened to me last week. This, of course made me so down that I never really spend time to update my blog. But then, surely when things settle down, and the mind gets clearer, then the intention will comes back and hunt you. So, here I am, facing my netbook, with a cup of Loh Han Guo drink, doing this posting.
Well, my so-called unlucky chain of event started on last Thursday, when I was rushing to my HQ for a departmental meeting. When I said rushing, I do mean rushing, as I am busy doing something else that when I realized the time, it was rather a bit off timing. So, I started my journey quite smoothly, though when I was in the rush. Reason? Because the road that I used was actually a kampung road, which proven to be shorter distance. I was just reaching a roundabout, about 4 km from my HQ. As we all known, when we are at a roundabout, the car at our right always have their priority. So, I viewed my right to ensure that there is no car coming at my direction. Suddenly, BANG......
I was shocked. Then, I quickly turned to my left, and realized that my car bang into other's car, which was parked at the roadside, illegally. So, my poor car ended with a dented portion, which need to be fixed. I agreed that it is part of my mistake for causing my car to be sent to the workshop. But then, is it not that parking the car at the roadside illegally is also in wrong as well? But then, living in our Bolehland, the term ILLEGAL will only be correct if you get caught. If you are not, the you are legal la. So, off my car to the workshop, and some money have to be spent to get my car done.
Then, just right after my car was completed, I got sick the following day...DARN!!!!!
Off I got to the clinic for check up. Throat infection and slight fever (the term the doctor always used ever since I decided to drop in the clinic 1 year back). So, on medication till present. Now condition even worse (add coughing into the family and we have a full house of flu, fever, cough & sore throat). It never help with such a uncaring weather, which is damn humid and hot today.
Now, so many bad lucks occurs me last week. Then, where is the good lucks which promised to come by after it? Didn't manage to strike any 4D bearing my car number on it. But then, I guessed the only good luck that came through is actually getting connected with an old friend of mine via Facebook yesterday. Happened to view his blog through another friend of mine, and I dropped him a message. Never expected him to add me the following day.
I used to hang out with this friend of mine when we were in high school. Treated him as one of the close friend, as he shared with me him dreams. When we parted for our own journey (me to USM, him to India), we lost contact. Later on, still got contacted each other, when he is in hometown. Now, he is in other state, working as MO.
Wishing him all the best in his future. If we were really be friend, let this be the first step to reunite us again.
Well, my so-called unlucky chain of event started on last Thursday, when I was rushing to my HQ for a departmental meeting. When I said rushing, I do mean rushing, as I am busy doing something else that when I realized the time, it was rather a bit off timing. So, I started my journey quite smoothly, though when I was in the rush. Reason? Because the road that I used was actually a kampung road, which proven to be shorter distance. I was just reaching a roundabout, about 4 km from my HQ. As we all known, when we are at a roundabout, the car at our right always have their priority. So, I viewed my right to ensure that there is no car coming at my direction. Suddenly, BANG......
I was shocked. Then, I quickly turned to my left, and realized that my car bang into other's car, which was parked at the roadside, illegally. So, my poor car ended with a dented portion, which need to be fixed. I agreed that it is part of my mistake for causing my car to be sent to the workshop. But then, is it not that parking the car at the roadside illegally is also in wrong as well? But then, living in our Bolehland, the term ILLEGAL will only be correct if you get caught. If you are not, the you are legal la. So, off my car to the workshop, and some money have to be spent to get my car done.
Then, just right after my car was completed, I got sick the following day...DARN!!!!!
Off I got to the clinic for check up. Throat infection and slight fever (the term the doctor always used ever since I decided to drop in the clinic 1 year back). So, on medication till present. Now condition even worse (add coughing into the family and we have a full house of flu, fever, cough & sore throat). It never help with such a uncaring weather, which is damn humid and hot today.
Now, so many bad lucks occurs me last week. Then, where is the good lucks which promised to come by after it? Didn't manage to strike any 4D bearing my car number on it. But then, I guessed the only good luck that came through is actually getting connected with an old friend of mine via Facebook yesterday. Happened to view his blog through another friend of mine, and I dropped him a message. Never expected him to add me the following day.
I used to hang out with this friend of mine when we were in high school. Treated him as one of the close friend, as he shared with me him dreams. When we parted for our own journey (me to USM, him to India), we lost contact. Later on, still got contacted each other, when he is in hometown. Now, he is in other state, working as MO.
Wishing him all the best in his future. If we were really be friend, let this be the first step to reunite us again.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Remembering the Good Old Days
I spent some times, browsing back my old posting in my old blog today. Reading back on all these posting, it brought back a lots of fond memories, and also some bad memories. Reflecting on these memories, I suddenly felt that my life had been changing from time to time.
Those day, my life was such an easy going, which encouraged me to write on certain topic which was not job related. Sometimes, I even find time posting on event that happened on my daily life, then certain topics on public issue. And not to miss out on post which consists on my love feeling towards certain people. I really put in a lot of effort in writing blog that time.
As what I posted yesterday, blog had served as a purpose of recording down all the journeys that we had gone through in our life, which during such journeys, all events which happened throughout these journey shall be recorded. So, in our later age, when we looked back at our life, it served as a memorable diary to cheer us up. I do hope that I would be able to spend more time in my youth to gather more memories. With these memories properly implanted in my blog, then our future generation shall be able to read and learned about how we actually travel in our journey
P/S: Ever since I started my new blog, all those old memories keep on coming back at me. It somehow reminded me that I still preferred to live in the past life as compare to my current life. How naive I was. But then, given a choice, I would prefer to live a peaceful life as compare to a fast moving life.
Those day, my life was such an easy going, which encouraged me to write on certain topic which was not job related. Sometimes, I even find time posting on event that happened on my daily life, then certain topics on public issue. And not to miss out on post which consists on my love feeling towards certain people. I really put in a lot of effort in writing blog that time.
As what I posted yesterday, blog had served as a purpose of recording down all the journeys that we had gone through in our life, which during such journeys, all events which happened throughout these journey shall be recorded. So, in our later age, when we looked back at our life, it served as a memorable diary to cheer us up. I do hope that I would be able to spend more time in my youth to gather more memories. With these memories properly implanted in my blog, then our future generation shall be able to read and learned about how we actually travel in our journey
P/S: Ever since I started my new blog, all those old memories keep on coming back at me. It somehow reminded me that I still preferred to live in the past life as compare to my current life. How naive I was. But then, given a choice, I would prefer to live a peaceful life as compare to a fast moving life.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A New Beginning After A Long Lapse
I couldn't believe that I could start writing a blog after such a long lapse, especially in this blogspot. Just as I viewed it when I tried to re-activate my account, my last posting was dated back in 2006, which was 4 years ago. Minus the fact that I did blogged in the Friendster's blog before, I had stopped posting for about 2 years. Hm....really could not believe that I will get it all started back again.
Speaking of writing a blog, my best friend once insisted me of starting a blog, with a given reason that from this written blog, I can indirectly improves her English. I had been quite bland in responding to this request, as I had been involved in blog before, and mostly of the article has been quite personal. Perhaps, I am not readily to expose much of my thought and feeling to others. As such, if I were to fulfill to my friend's request, so does that means that she will be able to know what is inside my mind and heart? If such a thing happened, then where will my privacy lies?
But then, perhaps, between best friend, there should not be too much secrets kept between them. Best friend will always be there to lend us their support every time we needed. So, maybe there will come one day, when my best friend asked me about my status of my blog, I can immediately tell her this address.
Anyway, after a long lapse, to re-start my blogging hobby is quite a huge task. Unlike the beginning, when the passion to blog is still strong, plus the fact that I had much free time, I had been a bit lazy when it came to writing an article. So, article might not be coming in on daily basis. However, I shall penned down all my memorable memory in this blog. With all the posting, which shall be written on a later stage, I hoped that in the future, this blog shall served as a meaning diary which describe all the journey I had been through in my life.
P/S: During my trip back to hometown a week ago, I happened to flip through all my pictures taken while I was still in university. Those pictures really brought me back to those happy days I spent with my coursemates. How I wish that I was able to travel back to those time. But then, those past memories shall always served as history. Whenever I feel like my life is meaningless, these picture will served as a reminder, "Hey, you had spent 3 years full of excitements. So, life ain't that bad, you know. Cheer Up!!"
Speaking of writing a blog, my best friend once insisted me of starting a blog, with a given reason that from this written blog, I can indirectly improves her English. I had been quite bland in responding to this request, as I had been involved in blog before, and mostly of the article has been quite personal. Perhaps, I am not readily to expose much of my thought and feeling to others. As such, if I were to fulfill to my friend's request, so does that means that she will be able to know what is inside my mind and heart? If such a thing happened, then where will my privacy lies?
But then, perhaps, between best friend, there should not be too much secrets kept between them. Best friend will always be there to lend us their support every time we needed. So, maybe there will come one day, when my best friend asked me about my status of my blog, I can immediately tell her this address.
Anyway, after a long lapse, to re-start my blogging hobby is quite a huge task. Unlike the beginning, when the passion to blog is still strong, plus the fact that I had much free time, I had been a bit lazy when it came to writing an article. So, article might not be coming in on daily basis. However, I shall penned down all my memorable memory in this blog. With all the posting, which shall be written on a later stage, I hoped that in the future, this blog shall served as a meaning diary which describe all the journey I had been through in my life.
P/S: During my trip back to hometown a week ago, I happened to flip through all my pictures taken while I was still in university. Those pictures really brought me back to those happy days I spent with my coursemates. How I wish that I was able to travel back to those time. But then, those past memories shall always served as history. Whenever I feel like my life is meaningless, these picture will served as a reminder, "Hey, you had spent 3 years full of excitements. So, life ain't that bad, you know. Cheer Up!!"
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